


Saving

by CasualWinchester



Series: Crush [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Boyfriends, Boys In Love, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Family, First Kiss, Hospitals, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Jealous Alec, M/M, Past Abuse, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Isabelle Lightwood, Protective Magnus Bane, Supportive Magnus Bane, Touch-Starved, friends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 14:45:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9186851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasualWinchester/pseuds/CasualWinchester
Summary: After waking up alone in Magnus's loft, Alec returns home to find a situation most fearful to him. It ends badly for Alec. But what goes down will come back up for him and end up being the best thing to ever happen to him.





	

Saving.

Alec.

My body automatically notices that something is not right. From the moment I wake, I have a sinking feeling in my stomach. It makes me feel sick but I know that I probably have nothing left to throw up after last night.

Sitting up I notice that I am still in Magnus's colourful, organized chaos of a room. The only thing that is different is the fact that it's colder than it was last night. The loft is also silent, so silent in fact that I am beginning to feel like I'm the only one here. But that couldn't be right could it? Magnus wouldn't leave me here without telling me that he was going out. Even if he did I'm sure Raphael would've made sure to tell me.

Unless it's earlier than I thought. One glance at the old fashioned, but elegant, clock on Magnus's bedside table tells me that it's not early enough for everyone to still me sleeping. In fact I'm slightly angry at myself for sleeping this long, especially when I have work to do.

Or do I?

What exactly do I do now that everyone knows about my little secret. Do I go back to work? Will Mum hate me and kick me out? Will I be fired from the family company over this? Or will anyone even believe me? I know that Dad can be very persuasive sometimes and I can see him managing to find a way to convince everyone that I was lying.

I push that thought aside because I know my sister and brother enough to know that they wouldn't fall for that. Mom on the other hand... she may be easier to convince. Poor Max will just have to go with whatever happens, he is too young to really have a say in anything. It doesn't mean I won't try my hardest to protect him from both Mother and Father, no matter what happens.

Deciding that not knowing what is happening is going to slowly drive me insane. I push myself out from the bed so I could search for my phone. It should still be in my jacket pocket.

Padding out into the living room of the loft I see that my jacket it still slung over the back of the sofa, where I left it last night apparently. As I get closer to the couch I realize that Magnus must have slept there last night, if the blankets and pillow show anything.

I touch one of the pillows to find it cold, obviously it had been a while since Magnus had woken up. He couldn't be at school because this is the day that starts their weekend.

I lean over the couch to get my phone. When I look at it I find that I have several missed calls from 4 different people. The most calls that I have are surprisingly from Mom. The rest is from Isabelle, Max, and one from Magnus. The one that stands out to me is Max, he is only 10 years old, why would he need to call me? I decide to call him back first. If he has need to call me then obviously it is something important. He answers after a long moment of me waiting, but when he does answer he doesn't actually say anything. It would be hard to hear him anyway considering the screaming and shouting going on in the background.

I can't understand what anyone is saying but to my horror I can tell exactly who is the one who is yelling. One of them is Jace and the other is Dad. There are another couple of voice being thrown into the mixture, Mom and Isabelle are the two main ones that I can hear but then I can also hear the voices belonging to my friends.

Horror suddenly seeps into my veins, turning them into ice. They went and spoke to Dad, oh no this is not good. Why didn't anyone wake me up! I needed to know that this was going to happen.

I bolt back through to Magnus's room where I haphazardly throw on my clothes and shoes. Moments later I am hurrying out of the door with my phone and wallet clutched in my hand like a lifeline. I didn't even bother to stop and pick up my jacket as I ran through the loft to the front door.

It is raining outside and I almost immediately regret not getting my jacket but I don't have the time to go back and get it. I start running as soon as I hit the pavement outside, puddles splash up around my feet and soak the fabric of my jeans making them cling to my legs uncomfortably.

I run for several minutes before deciding that I had no idea where I was and my best option now is to try and find a taxi to take me home. I begin to search around the streets for a taxi, and thankfully luck seems to be on my side and I manage to find one relatively quickly.

The man looks shocked when I scramble into his car, dripping wet and wide eyed. I must look very strange and bedraggled, almost like a wet cat but I don't care. Almost as soon as I have closed the door I am barking the address at him. He puts down the newspaper he was reading and quickly starts up the car, he is obviously choosing to do what I say first time. I don't blame him, I look like a crazy man right now.

"Can you hurry?" I ask him, my voice sounds breathless and raw. My mouth still has a slightly gross taste to it after last night. I try not to think about how I threw up in front of Magnus and what I said to him not long after it. If I told someone this story they would believe that I was drunk. I can't believe I said those things to him, I know he said similar things to me but this is the first time I have properly felt something for someone and for me to just say all those things this early into what could be a relationship... well I don't know what is going to happen now. If I'm being honest, I am a little scared about what could happen.

With a jolt of the car I realize that we have made it to the house. I hardy even pay attention to what the man is saying when I throw money into the little tray.

Looking out the window I can see that Raphael and Catarina are in the garden with my mother, who looks to be crying. Several bags and boxes litter the garden around them.

Raphael is the first one to see me when I get out of the taxi. His eyes widen slightly and I can see him mutter something under his breath. He moves away from my mother when I start to walk up the garden path, he holds out his arms to stop me from moving any closer to the house.

"What is going on? Why didn't anyone tell me anything!" I try to push past him but he doesn't let me.

"We thought it would be easier for you if you didn't have to go through all of this." Raphael says then glances back behind him. I look as well to find my mother staring at me with wide tearful eyes. Her eyes seem to linger just under mine before they flicker down to my hands. I suddenly remember my broken hand and black eye that Dad gave me yesterday. "We told your mother what happened and we packed up your stuff so you could move to the loft with us." Raphael tells me before a round of yelling erupts from inside the house.

I shove my way past Raphael who was distracted for a moment by the yelling. His distraction gave me enough time to sneak past him.

"Alec!" Mom yells and tries to grab onto my arm but I easily dodge her as I pass. I barge my way into the house to see something that turns my veins to ice again.

Jace, Isabelle and Ragnor are standing in the living room, with boxes and random things that belong to me, lying all around them. Dad is standing yelling at someone as he holds them against the wall with a hand securely around his neck.

Magnus.

In a sudden flash of anger I find myself hurling my body at Dad, successfully shoving him to the floor and away from Magnus.

"Alec!" Isabelle gasps but I have no mind for her as I turn to see if Magnus is okay. He is staring at me with wide, and slightly scared eyes.

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" I ask as I rest a hand on his cheek. My eyes scan over his face to see if I could find anything wrong with him. As per usual, his face was perfect.

"I'm okay, he didn't have time to do anything. Alec you shouldn't be here." Magnus raises his hand to pull mine away from his cheek so he could hold it tightly. "We didn't want you to have to face this." Magnus looks sad.

"I can do this Magnus. I need to do this." I say as strongly as I could because even if I think it, I don't know if it's actually true. It doesn't seem to fool Magnus though, but he doesn't have enough time to say anything before I can hear a cruel laugh from the floor.

"I should've guessed that you would do something like this." Dad is pushing himself up from the floor by the time I turn away from Magnus to look at him. "I guess it's hard for your kind to resist your disgusting urges." A gasp from the doorway tells me that the others have come into the room. Probably to see what the outcome of my fight with Dad. I just hope Max is safe somewhere away from this.

"The only disgusting one here is you, Dad." I spit at him. The anger in my voice surprises me, I don't think I have ever spoken to anyone like this. I guess it's just like last night, when I spoke to Magnus. Maybe I am coming out of my shell slightly and everything that I kept hidden all these years is just going to keep coming out. I should perhaps work on a verbal filter to make sure I don't say anymore stupid things.

"You have no right to call me that, no child of mine would grow up to be something like you." Dad snaps back and before I could even come up with an answer, Isabelle is scoffing.

"Well if that's how you see it Dad, then you aren't going to have very many children left." She drops the shirt she had clutched in her hand, in order to cross over the room and take Lydia's hand.

I look back at Dad to see that his face has gone bright red. A face that I know all to well.

Faster than I have ever moved in my life, I push myself in front of Isabelle just in time to stop Dad from launching himself at her, anger clear in his eyes. Mom screams from the doorway as both Dad and I crash to the floor, knocking over a small bookshelf when my head and back smash against it.

"Robert! Stop it!" Mum screams out as Dad punches my face. He gets a couple of punches in before Jace and Raphael are able to pull him off of me. In seconds Mum and Magnus are by my side, both of them fretting about the blood dripping down my chin. "Somebody call the police, I want that man out of my house and away from my children! Isabelle check on your little brother." Mum snaps as she strokes my hair back from my face.

"Alexander, are you okay?" Magnus is using the sleeve of his purple shirt to wipe the blood from my face, I try to move his hand as I don't want to ruin the shirt but he only scoffs and continues to do it. "Don't bother about the shirt, I don't care about that, I care that you are okay." He smiles softly at me and I feel butterflies in my stomach.

"This is sickening, I don't know how you people can stand such filth." Dad, who had obviously been listening into our conversation, comments from where he is still struggling in the hold of Jace and Raphael. I see Clary speaking on the phone to what must be the police.

"Robert, I would shut up now. You are only making this worse for yourself." Mum doesn't even spare a glance at her husband as she frets over me.

I am secretly glad that she doesn't say anything about Magnus being there. I think she understands that I need him here right now.

A sudden wave of dizziness rushes over me and I realize that I must have hit my head harder than I thought. The dizziness is followed by a wave of sickness that makes me groan and my eyes roll back slightly.

"Alexander?" Magnus pats my face and as much as I want to focus on him, to answer him back. I just can't seem to do it. My eyes are refusing to cooperate and black spots are building in my eyes.

"Head-" I raise one shaky arm to point to my head, letting them know that I was hurt.

Magnus places a hand on my face softly the looks over at my mother. "We need to get him to the hospital, he might have a concussion." He sounds worried. It's sweet that he worries about me. It's not something I am used too but I think if I keep seeing him then it's something I will soon grow comfortable with.

"Of course, Clary will you please?" Mum trails of because Clary is already nodding her head.

"Already on it Maryse."

"Thank you Clary. Stay with us honey, someone will be here to help you soon and we will get him as far away from you as possible." Mum whispers to me and I swear it sounds like she is going to cry and I can" hear guilt in her voice. I don't want her blaming herself for this. I know how Dad could be and I don't blame her for not knowing what was going on.

"Shall I stay here with the child?" Lydia suggests, she comes down to sit beside Mum. She places a comforting hand on Mum's shoulder in support. "Max? was that his name?" Her voice is soothing and calm, she's trying not to startle or annoy Mum. I try to focus on whatever is said before me but it was then that I finally allow my eyes to close.

I knew that I was going to pass out so I automatically reach blindly for Magnus's hand. I feel him take it and I allow myself to calm down just as sleep takes hold of me.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

When I next wake up, it's clear I'm in a hospital. The white and pale blue on almost every surface in the room tells me that much. So does the machine hooked up to my arm.

It's dark outside but I am unable to tell what time it is and how long I have been out for. It hard to see much in the dim light from the small lamp beside my bed. The glow is a pale yellow and makes me feel a little sick. But I am distracted from the light by what it is shining on.

Magnus is asleep in the chair next to my bed. The way he is sleeping doesn't look very comfortable. It's almost like he didn't want to fall asleep but he couldn't help himself. One of his hands is resting next to mine on the bed, he must've been holding my hand when he passed out.

I am brought out of my admiring of Magnus by someone coming into the room. It's Mum.

She looks exhausted and her eyes are red rimmed, she had obviously been crying a lot. I can't help but feel guilty because I know I am the one who caused her to cry.

"Mum?" I whisper, my voice cracks slightly from being asleep too long but she hears me anyway. Her head snaps up from the coffee cup she was looking at. I could see the liquid inside and honestly it looked more like tar than coffee. I'm a little worried that she is drinking it, she was usually a tea person. She didn't like the bitter taste coffee had but she would drink it from time to time if things were stressful.

"Alec, how do you feel?" She crosses silently over to the bed, obviously trying not to wake up Magnus. If she is tired but awake then I would hate to see how Magnus is.

"I'm fine, just a little dry mouthed." I say quietly, I also don't want to wake up Magnus. He deserved to sleep after everything I brought into his life.

"Here, some water." She reaches to the bedside table and picks up some water. She hands it to me and I drink it quickly whilst trying to get over the fact that it's warm. I wince at the temperature and Mum smiles slightly. "Sorry, we didn't know when you were going to wake up." She takes the cup once I finished drinking.

"It's fine. How long was I sleeping?" I ask as I settle back into the bed.

"A day or so, I've been here and back a couple of times, but-" She looks over at the sleeping Magnus. "He hasn't left your side since you got here." She gives me a look that almost screams that she wants and explanation

I look over at Magnus before answering her.

"It's all new to me but... there's something between us, something that I haven't allowed myself to feel before." I say quietly. I look down at my hands which are resting on my lap. I was too afraid to look up at her, I didn't want to see her reaction in case it was something of disgust. I couldn't take losing both of my parents.

"He seems to care about you a lot, you will need that kind of relationship in your life after what happened with your father." I look up quickly to see her smiling softly at me. I can't find any words to say because I am too shocked, I really was scared she was going to hate me.

"What?... you're okay with me being... being gay?" I ask, it was hard to say for the first time in front of her. Perhaps I was just afraid that if I said it then she would realize this wasn't some joke and she would change her mind and cast me out. But I am just met with her smile again, and a small laugh.

"Of course Alec, you are my son, my first born... I will love you no matter what." She strokes a hand through my hair. It must be all horrible as I probably haven't washed in some time. I suddenly feel self conscious of how I smell. I push it to the side for now though as it is not the most important thing.

"Thanks mum, I love you too." I lean into her touch for a moment before movement to the side of me makes me turn to look at Magnus. He seems to be waking up.

"I'll leave you two alone." Mum whispers to me before making her way out of the room and closing the door behind her.

Magnus blinks sleepily and his eyes follow Mum as she walks out. He looks rumpled, and confused, and just adorable. Sleepy Magnus is probably one of my new favourite things to see.

"Morning sleepyhead." I say softly before re taking his hand that had at once been holding mine.

He sits up quickly once he sees that I am awake, he looks slightly annoyed but I don't know who it is at. His other hand comes up to rest on our already clasped hands. "Hey, how long have you been awake." He asks quietly, his thumb begins to rub soothing circles into my hand. It feels nice, it makes me feel cared for and I'm not used to it, but its certainly not unwelcomed.

"Not long, about five minutes or so." I glance him over. Now that they are open I can see that his eyes are bloodshot and there are bags under them from lack of sleep. I can't help but think he still looks beautiful though, I mean he looks beautiful no matter what. "You should sleep more, you look exhausted." I say before using my free hand to gently rub my thumb under his eye.

Magnus laughs slightly then glances back up at me "Well Alexander, you do know how to charm a man." He moves his head slightly until he is able to press a soft kiss against my wrist.

"Magnus..."I say in the same no nonsense tone my mother uses when angry. "I mean it, you shouldn't have stayed here so long especially if you were tired." He looks down at our hands.

"I wanted to be here when you woke up, just to make sure you were really okay. You took quite a hit from your father when you came to my defence," he looks back up at me. "You didn't have to do that Darling." He moves the chair he was on closer to the bed so he could rest his chin on our hands.

"I wanted to and I...uh, couldn't control myself," When I confess this. Magnus' eyebrows raise in question. "I knew what he was capable of doing and I didn't want him to hurt you, I don't want anyone to hurt you...especially if it's because of me." I shuffle down on the bed until my head is resting right next to his.

"Oh Alexander, you never cease to amaze me..." Magnus trails off before moving forward slightly and kissing my head. I smile at the gentle feel of his lips against my skin. I then remember that it couldn't possibly be pleasant for him. I pull a face when I remember how badly I need to wash. I didn't expect the panicked look Magnus gave me. "Alexander, did I go too far? I'm sorry I should've asked you first."

I don't understand what he was getting at until I realised he meant the fact that he kissed my head. I guess pulling a disgusted face after he did that, wasn't a good idea.

"Oh no, that was- I like that, you can do it again...if you- you know, if you want to." I fiddle with our hands slightly as I struggle to get the words out. I needed him to know that I was okay with what was going on here. I didn't want to think that I didn't like his touch, when it was the exact opposite. I loved it too much. "I just, haven't washed in a while and it's probably not pleasant for you." I finish. I divert my eyes to the bed next to our hands. I refuse to look up because I know I have an extreme blush on my face and I honestly do not want to embarrass myself any more than I have.

"Alexander? Alec... darling look at me please?" My eyes snap up to him after hearing the pet name. I like the way it sounded coming out of his mouth. I'm not sure if he had said it before but now that I have heard it properly and we have something going on with each other, it just sounds so much better. Better than anything else I have heard from him. I want to hear it again, possibly every day. "There's those beautiful eyes, it's such a crime Alexander when you try to hide them from me." Magnus moves one of his hands from their grasp on mine. He moves it up to my face and rests his palm on my cheek. His hand is warm and it makes me realise how cold I am. I never noticed before.

"They're nothing special."

"Quite the contrary my darling, I think they are works of art." Magnus winks one of his slightly golden eyes at me. I flush at the compliment, I'm so not used to getting anything other than insults from my father. Sure I got some compliments from Isabelle and sometimes my mother, and those random women at the bars Isabelle would drag me too. None of them made me feel what I felt when Magnus complimented me. I wanted to say something nice back to him, but I can't seem to find any words that are good enough for someone as beautiful as him. "Alec, You could be covered, head to toe in grime and I would still find you the most exquisite thing in the room." Magnus leans in to kiss the cheek that his hand is not currently resting on.

"Really?" I ask, trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach that came along with the other compliment. I once again couldn't think of anything to say back to him. I will need to sit down one day with Isabelle so I can get some help on coming up with compliments good enough for someone like Magnus.

That could be a suicide mission. I will need to think whether I needed help this badly. On the one hand, Isabelle could help me for sure when it came to compliments. But on the other hand, she will know how much I feel for Magnus and she will always know how I feel about him. I won't have any privacy and she will be able to hold things over my head.

That thought alone is enough to turn me off of the idea of talking to Isabelle. I'm sure I could come up with stuff on my own and I'm sure Magnus would like it better if it all came from me and what I actually thought of him.

"Yes you fool, sure I wouldn't touch you until you went for a shower but after that I would be all over you." Magnus grins, I laugh at the glee on his face.

"Hey, I thought you would find me beautiful no matter what." I cringe at the sound of the words coming out of my mouth, they sound a lot better coming from Magnus. Maybe I shouldn't compliment myself, it doesn't feel right and it just makes me feel bad.

"Well, I do, the thought is still there Alexander and you should know that after you shower, I will make it up to you." He winks again and I feel heat flood my face again. "I'm just kidding Alec... unless that's something you'd be into, because I can totally make that happen, we'll just need to kick Raphael out of the house." I know he is kidding but I still take the time to think it over. This seems to take Magnus by surprise. Obviously he was expecting me to answer him straight away, with a no.

"Maybe at some point, but I think we should start with the basics. God what am I getting myself into here. We haven't even had our first kiss yet here you are talking about devouring me after a shower." I take his hand back into mine so I am able to pull it away from my face.

"You will learn to love it Alexander, trust me on that darling." Magnus freezes when he realises what he had said. To make sure he doesn't start freaking out over it, I press a kiss to the back of his hand.

"I'm sure I will Magnus, I do trust you." I smile softly at him and it seems to do the trick in calming him down.

He is about to say something else when a nurse suddenly comes into the room.

"I'm sorry Magnus, Cat found out that Mr Lightwood was awake and she sent me in here to kick you out so I can make sure everything is running smoothly here." The woman sounds kind and by the way she is talking I'm guessing she knows Magnus some how, and probably quite well. Magnus seems to be the very popular person. He seems to have friends everywhere. I wouldn't expect someone who was in college studying fashion and makeup would know a nurse.

"That's okay Tessa, I know Cat can be a force to reckon with, I will be back soon Alexander. No doubt it will also be with our friends but I can only keep them away for so long before they start getting mad." Magnus stands quickly but then leans back down to press a kiss to my forehead.

"Perhaps I should shower first?" I suggest, I know that Jace would tease me about being dirty and as much as I love my brother, it's not something I need right this moment.

"Maybe, if you are up for that but don't push yourself Alexander, they'll just be happy to see you are awake and healthy." He strokes a finger down my cheek before smiling and leaving the room.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

  
After a check up with Nurse Tessa she gives me the all clear for a shower. She even leaves the room for a moment to retrieve the best soap the hospital offers.

"The soap they provide smells a little too much like bathroom cleaner so I like to keep a stock of nicer stuff for my favourite patients, it's sandalwood, it's also one of Magnus's favourite's." She winks at me and I blush slightly. I want to ask her how she knows Magnus so well, maybe they dated before and that's how she knows all this stuff about him. She is slightly older though so I'm not sure if that's the case. I also don't think now is the best time to ask her.

"Uh, thank you..." I don't know what else to say to her so I just give her a smile which she returns. She then turns to leave the room, but at the last moment she turns and looks right at me. "You know, I can see why Magnus would fall for someone like you." She looks me up and down again. I feel a little exposed due to the hospital gown I was in. I hope someone left me something to wear that's not the hospital gown. "Hmm, enjoy your shower Mr Lightwood I will be back soon to let you know if you are free to go." She then ducks out of the room and leaves me to shower.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

After a long and warm shower I exit the bathroom to find that everyone has seemed to gather in my room. I wasn't expecting anyone to be there, let alone my entire group of friends and siblings. I wish I had known because maybe then I wouldn't only be wearing a towel around my waist.

"Alec!" Isabelle throws her arms around my neck, obviously not caring that I'm still slightly damp from the shower. "I'm so glad you're okay! What did the nurse say to you?" She asks without even giving me a moment to act. I want to hug her back but the fear of my towel falling makes me refrain from doing so.

"Isabelle, dear. Give him a chance to breathe." Magnus comes over to stand next to us. He gives her a small smile which she returns before backing off of me. Magnus then turns to me and I swear my face is going to burst from embarrassment as I watch Magnus flick his eyes over my torso. It made me even more aware of just how naked I am right now. He must've realised that he was staring because a moment later his eyes flick up to meet mine. "Here, I think it would be best for both of us if you put these on." He holds up a small pile of clothing I hadn't noticed he was holding.

I smile, suddenly grateful that he seems to know me so well already. I move closer to him to I'm able to grab the clothes without the worry of my towel falling. It's then that his eyes flick to my neck and he sniffs slightly. I notice that his eyes widen and he steps back slightly. I'm worried that something was wrong then I remembered what Tessa said about the smell of sandalwood being one of Magnus's favourites.

"Thank you, I'll just- go, uh... change I guess." I flush before quickly turning back into the bathroom. Once the door is shut behind me I lean against it heavily. I hold the clothes Magnus gave me, close to my chest, why do I always seem to make a fool of myself when I'm around him? People see me topless whenever I'm at the gym so I don't see why it's suddenly a problem for me now. I wasn't bothered about anyone else seeing me topless, just Magnus. I shouldn't feel like that though because I know how he feels for me, it should not make me this flustered.

Maybe the reason I feel this way is because of how he feels about me, I haven't had this before so I don't know what it is like to have someone you like, and who like you back, admire you. I guess it feels nice, but also slightly embarrassing, especially if I react the way I just did.

With a sigh I pull on the clothing Magnus gave me. I notice that the smell of Sandalwood becomes a lot stronger as I pull on the clothes. At first I thought that it was me but then I realise that it's the clothes, they smell that way because they are not mine. I had never seen these clothes before. They suit and fit me better than any of the other clothes that I owned. usually I wore just plain black but the soft woollen jumper I'm wearing is a dark blue and the shirt underneath it is white, I don't wear white all that often so it's a little strange for me. The sweatpants I'm wearing are still black but they are not so worn out and torn like my usual jeans.

Has Isabelle done some shopping for me or something? But it couldn't be her, she never buys me anything like this when she shops for me. She doesn't always get the style, size, or colour right. This time however everything is almost perfect. It's not something I would've picked out for myself before, but seeing it on me now makes me want to wear it more.

I notice that I've been in here longer than normal so with one last rub down across my hair with the towel I leave the room. I'm glad Mom paid for a private room with a bathroom attached. I may be becoming a little more confident with myself, but that does not include sharing a bathroom with other sick individuals, the idea of that still makes me a little nervous.

Isabelle and Clary are sitting at the bottom of the bed when I walk out, Clary jumps off it straight away when she see's that I have came back out. She eyes me slightly and it makes me stop.

"Is there something wrong?" I ask her before looking down to make sure I hadn't put anything on backwards or something, but everything seems to be in the right place, even my fly is up.

Clary looks at Isabelle, who I notice is also staring at me. Their eyes make me nervous so I begin to fiddle with the cast on my hand. Clary laughs slightly and shakes her head. "Nothing's wrong, you just look good. I mean you're wearing clothes that actually fit you and that are not at least 3 years old." She comes over and softly touches the end of one of my sleeves. "Yup, not a single hole in sight."

"Yeah, Isabelle actually got it right this time." I send a smile over to her.

"Uh, Alec I'm sorry to tell you this but this has nothing to do with me." She holds up her hands and shrugs.

"Actually it was me," I turn to see an unusually shy looking Magnus standing next to a smirking Catarina and an even more gleeful looking Ragnor. "No one had brought anything for you so I asked Raphael to bring me some things from home, sure I had to adjust them to your size but I thought it would be better than the clothes you were brought here in." He smiles at me. "I hope that's okay?" he gestures to the clothes that are lying on the bedside table. They looked like rags compared to what I was wearing now.

I look from the clothes then to him again. "It's more than fine I guess, you just didn't have to do it." I fiddle with the sleeve of the jumper, it really was the cosiest thing I think I have ever worn. The Sandalwood smell that came from them now totally made sense, they belonged to Magnus so of course they would smell like him. It's almost comforting knowing that now.

"It was no bother really Alexander, you shouldn't be wearing anything but the best. You're own clothes don't do anything for you." He winks and this time I'm glad I don't blush. I know it to be true so that's why it's not embarrassing.

"Sure got your attention." Simon jokes from where he and Raphael are standing, right next to the window. The streetlights outside shine across their features and make them look sort of dangerous. It was almost as if they belonged to the night, they were so quiet and reserved during the day. Night owls.

"I for one agree with what Alec said before, Magnus you have done well. I expect you and I shall have to go shopping for this one at some point." Isabelle comes over to hug me again. This time I hug her back, grateful to have her there. In fact I'm grateful for everyone that is here right now. I have never felt so cared about before.

"I wouldn't love anything more, dearest Isabelle but I think for now we should allow Alexander to lie down until we know if he is allowed home or not." Magnus walks over to the bed and fixes the rumpled sheets. He shoes Clary off the bed so I am able to get into it. He is such a mother hen, whether he will admit it or not. I'm glad for it, as much as I hate to say it, I could really use someone to look after me right now.

Isabelle pulls me over to the bed and all but pushes me down into it. Once I'm lying down she sits on the chair next to me. Magnus takes my good hand again just to let me know he was there. I hold it tightly before turning back to my friends. They have all seemed to merge around the bed, each of them holding onto their significant others. Ragnor was the only one who didn't move but that's just him I guess.

"So what did Tessa say? Are you okay?" Catarina asks, she is small enough to be able to fit on the bottom of the bed. Once there she leans back on the person behind her, it's Raphael. At first I'm expecting him to push her off because he is already holding Simon against him, but to my surprise, the prickly boy just moves to the side slightly to give her more space to lean against him.

I notice that I haven't said anything yet, I was too busy watching the careful movement between the two friends. "Oh! Yeah, she said I was well. I just had a bad bump to the head and my body was exhausted from all the work I had been doing the previous days." Catarina looks glad.

"So do you think you will be able to go home?" Simon asks hopefully. I'm starting to grow fonder for Simon now I don't have to be guarded around him, I would never trust anyone my sister dated fully. I'm finding it hard though with Lydia since I got to know her before knowing she was dating Isabelle so my trust in her was already a little more than Simon.

"I hope so-" I stop suddenly because I have no idea where home is right now. I know Magnus said I could stay with him and Raphael but I have no idea if that's still the case. I don't know what's happening at all in my life right now. I could be out of a job without knowing about it, I don't know what is going on with Dad. He could've already shunned me from working in the family business and my trust fund could have already been cancelled. If I stayed with Magnus then I would have to find a job so that means that I might not be able to pay to live with him. I couldn't do that, I wouldn't allow myself to put both him and Raphael in that situation. I will just need to find somewhere else to stay.

"Alexander? Darling? are you okay?" I feel someone gently patting my cheek. I snap out of the little rant going on in my head to see Magnus's face in front of mine. He is sitting on the bed next to me, his eyes worried.

"Where am I supposed to go?" I ask quietly and to my horror I feel tears in my eyes. I feel on the verge on panicking because the idea of not knowing anything that's happening in my life scares me. Sure my life hasn't been very good so far but at least I knew what I was doing, at least I was stable. Now everything was turned upside down and for all I know I could be homeless and unemployed.

"What do you mean where are you supposed to go?" Magnus asks a small frown on his face. His hands come up to frame my face, causing him to be the only thing I could focus on, everything else around us apart from him is gone.

"Where is home? Do I have one? Do I even have a job? Money? I have no idea what to do." Magnus uses his thumb to wipe away a tear that has fallen down my cheek.

"Darling, don't be silly. You're home is with me, if that's what you want." He says softly, a small smile sits on his stupidly perfect face.

"I couldn't do that to you, not when I don't even have a job. I couldn't give any money." I say even though the idea of Magnus being represented as my home sounds amazing.

"Alexander, you have a job darling? Do you think your father has any control over your family's business after what he's pulled?" Magnus shakes his head and laughs slightly but he then sobers when I nod my head at the question. "Well sweetheart that would never happen, we wouldn't allow it. He would be lucky to ever step foot in that building again." Magnus runs a hand through my hair in a sweet gesture.

"Even if he did he wouldn't leave it alive." I hear Jace mumble from somewhere in the room. He had been surprisingly quiet the whole time. I'm not used to it, even though sometimes I do wish he would stop talking.

"Jace, not now." Clary tells him off and it makes me laugh slightly.

"There, that's better. You're laugh is too precious for it to not be heard Alexander." Magnus states it so calmly, as if we were alone in this room. A hushed awing noise comes from somewhere behind us and it seems to snap us both out of the state we were in. It's not until Magnus pulls back that I realise how close he was to me. If I had leant forward slightly I could have kissed him. God, I wanted to.

I don't know if we are at that stage yet and I don't want to mess anything up, especially when it seems to be going okay for us. It's the first time that I am going into what could be a relationship and I'm not going to destroy that.

"So it's settled, Alec will come home with us!" Simon grins. He has snuggled closer to Raphael and is looking at both Magnus and I with a sort of excited look in his eyes that can only mean nothing but bad.

"I guess your coming too mi amor?" Raphael nuzzles the side of Simon's face before kissing it softly.

"Of course I am, what kind of a silly question was that?" Simon presses his face down onto Raphael's shoulder. Watching how comfortable they are with each other makes me slightly jealous. I wish I could be that comfortable with Magnus already. I mean the simple touches to my face and the soft kisses pressed to my head are nice but I wish I had the option for more. I want to be able to curl myself in his arms when we are in public, and I want to be able to kiss him when we are all spending time together. I just want to be comfortable around him. I don't like this awkward stage we are currently in. I want to be with him properly, to call him mine and not just a maybe.

A knock on the door pulls me out of my musings. A moment later Tessa comes into the room with a smile on her face. "Well I see the Calvary has arrived." She comes over to stand next to the bed, her eyes flick between the closeness of Magnus and I, her eyes light up for a moment before sharing an amused look with Catarina and Ragnor. I don't like it, it makes me uneasy. Tessa is nice enough though that I'm not worried about it too much, especially if it involves Magnus and I.

"What's the verdict Tess?" Magnus asks before making sure our hands were touching. "Can I take this one home?" Tessa's gaze softens when she hears the concern that's clearly in Magnus's voice.

"Whatever you do in your spare time Magnus has nothing to do with me, but yes Mr Lightwood is clear to go home. His mother is downstairs now filling in his insurance forms." Tessa smiles at me, "But make sure you take it easy, you were exhausted when you arrived here, I can count on you Magnus to make sure he rests?" Tessa directs the question at Magnus but her eyes are on me.

"I won't take my eyes off him," Magnus states.

"I highly doubt that you wouldn't of already been doing that anyway." Ragnor muses.

"Shush you surly old man, leave them be." Tessa hits Ragnor across the shoulder. "Shall we leave Alexander in peace to get ready? I think all of you would do far more good waiting downstairs, this isn't the biggest room." She says this in a way that leaves no room for arguments. I think I really am starting to like Tessa, I really need to ask Magnus how he knows her.

Speaking of Magnus, I close my hand around his tighter in a way of showing him that I didn't want him to leave with the others. The way he still casually sits on the bed inclines that he probably wasn't even thinking about leaving. The idea brought butterflies to my stomach.

"How about we get a head start back to the loft? We could set things up for Alec and order some takeout?" Suggests Isabelle and the thought of it makes my mouth water, I only just realised how hungry I was.

"That sounds perfect, is that okay with you my darling?" Magnus asks me, the both of us ignore the looks our friends send our way.

I nod my head quickly, anything that would give me some time alone with Magnus sounds perfect to me. "Yeah, I would like that- thanks." I say to Isabelle who gives me a quick wink.

"It's no problem big bro, take your time- there's no hurry." She gives a suggestive look that makes me blush again but Magnus only smiles and thanks her. He is so much better at handling their teasing, I'm so thankful for it.

Everyone, bar Jace, mutters their goodbye's. Some of them even hug me. Then they leave, I'm a little concerned when Jace doesn't say anything to me but I guess I can talk to him about it later, hopefully it's nothing too bad.

Once the door shuts behind them Magnus stands up. "Shall I fetch your things?" He asks before leaning down to grab a bag that I hadn't noticed from the floor.

Once he stands up again I sit up on the bed until I am able to fling my legs off the side. I find myself sitting right in front of him. I take the bag from his hands, placing it on the bed beside me. He gives me a weird look when I turn back to take both of his hands in mine.

"Alexander?" He asks as I let our hands fall onto my thighs.

"Magnus, I uh- this is all very new to me but... I like you." I state boldly before I lose confidence.

"I like you too Alexander-"

"No, I mean I like, like you- I want to be with you properly," Magnus's eyes widen slightly and he unconsciously steps closer to me. "I know you just got out of a relationship with Camille-" I regret the words straight away when I see Magnus's eyes flicker to the floor. I quickly change the subject. "I want to be with you in the way that Clary is with Jace or Simon is with Raphael... I want to be able to hold you like they hold each other and I-" my words falter for a second, and in that second Magnus finally looks back up to meet my eyes. "I want to- to k... I want to kiss you like they kiss." My cheeks once again flair in embarrassment but I refuse to look away.

Magnus opens his mouth to speak but nothing came out. The regret starts to build in my chest and I feel tears prickle behind my eyes. Oh god, what have I done? I ruined everything. The regret only becomes worse when I feel him pull his hands out from under mine. I let my head drop then, partly to hide the same on my face and also because I didn't want to see the look on his face.

A second later I was pleasantly surprised when I felt his hands cup my face. I look back up to see that Magnus has stepped right into my personal space. "You have no idea just how much I want that too," A moment later my eyes are flickering shut and I can feel Magnus's breath ghosting over my lips, he was just so frustratingly close, his breath teasing my skin.

I let out a small surprising whimper before sliding my hands up his chest until they wrap around his neck, one hand automatically going to his hair and threading through it. I open my eyes to see him staring hungrily at me, I feel my mouth go dry at the look. I lick my lips slightly which makes his eyes darken even more. "Prove it." I suddenly whisper brokenly against his lips.

It finally does it because a second later his lips are being roughly pushed against mine. It takes me by surprise and a small groan escapes my throat. Magnus's hand comes down to clutch my side, pulling me closer to him as his experienced lips move against mine, coaxing them into action.

His lips are soft and warm, they also taste a little like strawberries. It's addictive.

I push myself further into the kiss, hands sliding down his back and gripping the fabric there tightly. Magnus groans slightly and pulls back just far enough to gently bite down on my bottom lip before pulling it between his own slightly.

"Fuck, Magnus-" I don't get to finish before Magnus's mouth is back on mine again, no less hungry than they were before.

He deepens the kiss slightly and I just feel the touch of his tongue on my lip when there is a knock on the door.

We both pull apart in shock, just as the door opens to reveal Tessa. She stops in her tracks when she see's the situation at hand.

Magnus steps back slightly and adjusts his teal coloured shirt which is slightly creased from my grip.

"I'm sorry- I just wanted to say that You're mother hired a car to take you home and it's here." Her eyes are gleaming with happiness and I can see her hand twitching towards the phone that is currently half sticking out of her pocket. Damn, by the time we get home everyone is going to know what had happened.

"Yes, well thank you Tessa." Magnus dismisses her. It doesn't take her two seconds to back out of the door and close it behind her.

Once she has gone, Magnus turns to look at me. His lips are red and slightly swollen and I can't help but feel slightly funny when I remember he only looks like that because of me. I was allowed to kiss him.

"That was-" I start but a laugh from Magnus stops me.

"I have said it before, and I will say it again Alexander, you never cease to amaze me." Magnus leaned in to give me a more gentle and chaste kiss before pulling back. "What do you say about going home?" He asks before kissing my jaw slightly.

"I would love to, as long as it's with you." I say and I can feel Magnus's smile against my face.

"Well, who am I to deny my wonderful boyfriend such a small request." Magnus leans back, his eyes boring into mine as if he was trying to see if I was okay with what he said.

"Then let's go, I wouldn't want to keep my new home waiting. After all I am so grateful to my amazing boyfriend for letting me stay there." Magnus's smile is almost blinding. He throws his arms around my neck and kisses me for the third time.

I melt into the kiss, finally allowing myself to have the one thing I never thought I would ever have.

Someone.


End file.
